...that is the question?
I haven't posted to my blog at all in January. The truth is I was considering abandoning my blog. I was feeling that it was taking time I didn't really have. It's a small little personal blog without a big readership so I was going to let it quietly fade away.
This year started oddly for me. I formally retired on December 31, 2013 and was expecting to feel relief, joy and the promise of possibilities. Instead, I mostly felt grief...for a job I didn't even want to return to. So contrary! Of course, I usually am pretty contrary. I suppose it was natural. It wasn't really a retirement of my choosing.
Mostly I have worked through those emotions and am feeling open to whatever comes my way. I plan on concentrating on me this year. A year long project to find my bliss; to accomplish those things we all list as New Year's resolutions but give up on by mid-January. This year my word is
No matter how many times I fall off the horse, this year I am getting back up. I'm going to take the opportunity to try new things, learn new skills, and find what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I may not always succeed but I want to try to say "Yes!" instead of "No".
There are a lot of creative projects to finish around the house and a renewed interest in my garden. I have a great group of friends that I spend time with every week and that will definitely continue. Maybe I'll find some time for a little romance this year as well. I feel younger than I did 10 years ago so that's not bad.
Of course, top of the list right now is working on getting my extra weight off (once and for all...it is do or die time!) and start exercising. I want to make my heart a lot healthier before I consider put it out there again.
Having or not having a blog really doesn't affect any of these goals but I think it might be good for me to document them. If anyone else finds it interesting, that will be a bonus. But this time, it is for me.
I've been reading a lot of blogs in the last month (even if I haven't been posting) and it is the time of year for introspection and self-examination. A lot of you have been writing eloquent posts. Some of your posts have informed me and inspired me and left me to gnaw away on an opinion or two. What I've learned from you is that I have to stop being intimidated by what I read. I'm a lousy photographer with cheap equipment and that isn't going to change any time soon. My writing skills are rudimentary but they are my own. I have to let my competitive nature ebb away because I don't have the wherewithal to compete with the amazing blogs out there and really wouldn't want to devote the time necessary if I did.
I want to make every day count and make up for too many days lived by rote. If I'm going to continue doing this, it needs to be for me. A sort of diary of my life rather than trying to fit into any niche or format with pretty pictures. I'm going to try to be as honest as I can (while protecting the identities of the innocent - grin).
If you want to come along for the ride, feel free. Any advice or comment is always welcome.